Chapter 19

"So, you play croquet with a flamingo and a hedgehog?" Marik said disbelievingly at the sight of said animals in a pen in the King's garden. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"We used to play it normally. You know, mallets and balls and shit?" The King of Spade explained to him while the March Hare set up the game. "But Queen Bitch said that was too boring, and switched the mallets to flamingoes and the balls to hedgehogs." He snorted while the other white haired man tried to tame a couple of flighty flamingoes. "Like he wasn't crazy enough. He masted playing it like that before anyone else even knew about the change so he gave himself an unfair advantage. They call him the Queen of Games but he always bloody cheats."

"Don't use British swears, thats my thing." The March Hare quipped while he set up the equipment, shoving what eappeared to be upside-down wire U-shapes in the grass.

"What is it with him and British swearing?" Marik asked the King as they sat down on the patio chairs.

"You can blame your master for that." The King replied, taking the cup of tea offered to him by one of his servants. "He mentioned that bunny-boy over there sounded British, whatever that is, and of course he had to look it up properly and now being British is his 'thing."

"Weirdo." The lion commented, watching the March Hare continue setting things up. He chuckled when one of the flamingoes in the pen managed to get loose and charged at the white haired man.

"Oi, I know you're talking about me." The March Hare glared at them while wrestling with the pink bird. "Quit bitching and give us a hand over here!"

"No, your idea, your set-up." The King grinned, sipping at his tea with a grace that Marik knew the Ringleader could never have.

"Gah! I hate you!" The March Hare yelled at them, flinging the flamingo back into its pen with the rest of them.

"No you don't, you love me." The King retorted, chuckling when the March Hare just turned and stuck his tongue out at him before forcefully looking away to see to the rest of the animals in the pen.

Marik smiled a little to himself, getting slightly homesick and missing the circus. The relationship he saw between the King of Spades and the March Hare was one he often saw in his own master and Bakura. Akefia often riled Bakura up and Bakura would do anything and everything to get back at him. He could tell this was exactly what the King and the Hare were like.

"Ok, get over here Marik." The March Hare called to him after he'd finished setting up the wire hoops in the ground. "I'll teach you the basics first." He pulled out one of the flamingoes by it's neck and with a simple smack around its head it stiffed and went completely rigid, almost like a real croquet mallet.

The blonde lion came over and fought his natural instincts of wanting to pounce on the flailing birds in the pet. Their wings had been clipped especially for croquet so they wouldn't fly off in the middle of the game, but that didn't mean they couldn't flutter around (which they did so with gusto in the confines of the pen). Instead he tried to concentrate on what the March Hare was telling him so he could have a decent chance of beating the Queen of Hearts in his own game.

"Don't ask why that bloody Queen changed mallets to flamingoes. We long ago accepted that he's completely nuts." The March Hare was saying while showing Marik how to properly tame his flamingo to act like a mallet. "The trick to these is just to hit them on the head. Their natural instincts as animals is to walk around and to birdy things but this lot have been conditioned so when they're hit on the head they straighten out and stay there."

"Isn't that a bit cruel?" Marik didn't care, but he felt like he should at least mention it.

"No if you don't hit them that hard." The red-eyed man winced slightly, "Queen Bitch is terrible with his birds. Always hits them too hard." He paused in silence for a second before laughing at what he just said. "Anyway, you can't question the Queen on the rules either. He changes them with every tournament. But there's always the basics, which he can't change otherwise its not longer croquet."

"And what would the basics be?" Marik eyed the wire in the ground, wondering what on earth they could be for.

The March Hare carefully picked up a hedgehog out of the pen and placed it on the ground on one end of the row of wire hoops. "The main aim of the game is to get your ball from one end of the field to the other and back while going through the hoops. But, like I said, Queen Bitch keeps randomly swapping around the rules and shit so its not always that easy." He handed Marik the straightened out pink bird, and the lion took it with a little glare at the thing as if daring it to move. "Just have a go and see if you can hit the ball through the holes."

Marik refrained from making a dirty joke about that, considering how serious the situation was anyway. He carefully took hold of the flamingo as best he could and, trying not to be too forceful, swung the bird so it's beak hit the hedgehog square on its ass and got it rolling through three of the wire hoops. The King of Spades politely and mockinly clapped from his seat on the patio.

"Not bad. These are in more of a straight line than would be in a real game, so let me move them around for you." The March Hare proceeded to pull up a few of the wires in the middle, giving the tanned lion an almost perfect view of the hare's ass as he bent over to pick them up. He had to admit if the Ringleader had to shag anyone he was glad he picked someone with a nice butt. The fluffy little tail was a lovely add-on too.

Marik tried and failed at hitting the ball (or hedgehog) through the little wire posts, but slowly and surely he got better. It took him a few tries and three escaped flamingoes to get good enough to get the hedgehog-ball from one end to the other and back without hitting the damn thing too far away from the next post or missing them all together.

"You're getting pretty good, Marik." The King of Spades commented, still sat in the shade on the patio nearby. His tea had been replaced by what appeared to be some sort of alcoholic beverage. "Shall we call it quits for today? Anymore and I'm sure you'll get too bored to bother."

"Yeah, good plan." The March Hare agreed and shoo'd the blonde lion away before packing up the equipment and animals that littered the lawn.

Marik walked over to the King and took his earlier seat back, sitting next to the toned looking royal. He helped himself to the chocolate treats that were on the table between them and looked up at the slowly setting sun. He hadn't realised how long they'd been playing for.

"Akefia will be alright." The King suddenly told him, forcing him to look at the older man in question. "From what I've seen of him, he's strong, and won't easily submit to the Queen's control."

"You can bloody count on that." Marik assured him, curling up like a cat on the chair.

"What have I told you about using those swears?" The March Hare called over to him, emitting a light hearted chuckle from both the lion and the king.